that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
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you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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