I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am full of burrito and curiosity
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize