During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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