she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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