fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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