I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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