Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize