I wish you could order shots online.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize