College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
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I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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