it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
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I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
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Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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