So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
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Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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