she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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