....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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