Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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