I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
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Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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