In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize