If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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