I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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