My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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