That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
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Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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