How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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