My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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