We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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