I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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