Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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