I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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