operation harelip BJ is a go
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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