I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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