C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"it" just moved
she looked like the before picture.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
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Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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