WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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