booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize