That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize