No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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