Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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