we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize