Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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