i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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