1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
