I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize