FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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