Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize