That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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