on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
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Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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