Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize