I've blown a few things in my day
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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