I don't think brook has ever known best
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
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if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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