If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize