If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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