She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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