I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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